Legend has it that Schwinn employed Mario Gusipie Costantini for three days in 1969 while he was in the witness protection plan after eloping with 12 year old Patty Von Helsing in a heinous crime known as the "Snatch Heist".
In those three days Mario worked at Schwinn, he was assigned to a top secret project known only as "Purple Paradox."
Few people were entrusted with the secret of Purple Paradox, but my cousin's nephews's barber's dentist's undertaker was one of the three people given their pre-demo, pre-built Grape Krate.
He later gave it to his son's florist's pool boy Michael Felts!
Now this gets really weird, according to some, one evening in the Fall of 1969 Mike was peddling recklessly and ran into a telephone pole on Sunset Boulevard.
After inspecting the damage, Mike wandered off on foot to a favorite bar for the rest of the night.
When Mike returned, the bike was gone.
Person of interest to this day is renown bicycle connoisseur and concurs judge P. W. Herman
Continuing on muscle bike's...got grape?
Never happened on the original bikes, but it should have.